Past... Happy times...
<3
I still rem tat when we started off, we were both still studying in polytechnic... I would always skip lesson to pick her up in her school... The journey there is long as i'm alone and wishing to see her asap... When the journey back, it seems fast and short... Maybe tats wat ppl always said, good times always come and go in a split second... Even when the train is so crowded and packed, i dun mind as long as she's beside mi.... The journey back home with her seems to make the whole world with only 2 of us exist.... I was also working part time at tat time... Earning more than enuff i would say.. So our programme for weekends used to be packed.... We would hav meals in town and also shopping ard... Mi and her belonged to the same kind of person... We would spend wat ever amount on each other but not ourself... i used to bring her out for shopping alot and when she see clothes she like, she wun wanna buy... I would hav to keep telling her how much i like her in the clothes den she will consider... And i'll always rem the look she had in her face when i buy those clothes for her..... She look really overjoyed and sweet in her eyes... Sometimes, she wouldbe so happy and give mi a peck on my cheek.... ALthough i din ever said this to her, but dear, everytime u do tat, i'm so happy and feels tat i'm the most happiest person in the world... Cause nth else matter compare to the happiness and love u shown to mi... I really love it when she feel happy and give mi a peck on the cheek whenever i buy her things she like alot.... Its not because i get a kiss... Is because at tat moment, she's most happy and i can feel tat in her heart i'm the one and only, even though the things i buy may be very cheap....
Sometimes when i go over to her hse i would juz drop by to get food or drinks she love... I really love buying all these cause i alwways wished to see her happy.... An example, When i book out of camp, sometimes i'll reach her home before she do... So i'll juz drop by at NTUC to check out things to buy for her... I'll used up so much time tat sometimes i even walk for half an hr thinking of wat to buy.. She'll call mi when she reaches home and sometimes be unhappy why am i still not there yet... But when i surprise her when i reach her place with the things i bought, she'll be so happy and give mi a hug... I really miss those days... When i think of these, I feel like crying out again.... Cause i really miss this relationship...
Eemin and i did have alot of happy times together... Come to realise, I did alot of thing which hurt her too... I rem i once promised her tat i wouldn't let her get out of my sight whenever we go on trips... There's once we went to Genting and the morning of the day we're going back Singapore, we had a quarrel... I rem tat she cried in front of the lobby and ppl turned back to look at us... In the end, the quarrel din stop and she stormed off angrily... I din tell her these tat time.. At the moment, i juz stood there and hope she'd turn back but she din... I suddenly woke up and went towards the direction where she went trying to find her... But i couldn't see her at all... At tat moment, i tot i really lost her forever... I panicked and scared... I kept on calling her phone to get her cause i dun wish anything to happen to her... I cried to myself cause the tot of losing her was unbearable... Both of us are very stubborn person.. Sometimes i would juz purposely wait for her to admit her mistake even though i'm the one whose in wrong... I'm human after all... I wished to be pampered at times too.... So, although in the end i manage to get her on the phone and found her, i din show any remorseful look to her and even scold her for making mi worry and angry.... But in my heart, i was trembling in fear for the lost of her.... I told myself tat time tat i wouldn't wanna hav tat kind of feeling ever again.... Cause she has already walked into the deepest part of my heart....
I admit i'm not a good bf... I did lots of things tat will hurt her.... I'm really someone whose not very good in expressing himself... Even facing my family, best friends or whoever, i may seems to be entertaining, talkative and sociable.... But to be frank, i nv ever once speak out my true feeling... I always choose only the most appropriate words and ans.... Similarly, towards eemin, i may look harsh and firece when she make a mistake... But when she juz say sorry and give mi a hug, i'll juz forget everything and remind her not to do it again... Tats really mi...
I rem there's one quarrel, i was so pissed with myself tat i hit myself cause i really dunno how to express it.... Eemin saw it and hold my hand giving mi a hug... She said to mi tat "Why are u so stupid to hurt urself? U're the one tat feel the pain in the end. U know i'll be heartache when isee u hurting urself?" Sometimes, i juz dunno how to express my anger and feelings.... I may do alot of things tat i shldn't do... I'm not finding excusses for my wrong action.... Jus tat, all things i do only to proved how much i love her... But in a wrong way maybe.....
