I'm worry...
<3
The past few days i'm having nose bleeding again... Still rem tat time when i was still together with her... When i nose bleed non stop... I was juz as worried as i'm at tat time... I still rem i ask her this on the bus...
Me: Dear, if really anything happen to mi, would u still stay by my side not?
Her: Dun stupid la. I'm not tat kind of person okie. Nothing will happen to u de la.
Me: If something happen, u muz find someone good leh. Muz treat u either better or at least like how i treat u. Dun u find tat i'm ur slave? I dun mind being ur slave la. But if the next person wun give in to you like how i give in to u den how?
Her: Den also no choice ma. Cause in the begining u already give in to mi le. If the next one wun give in den i hav to give in lor.
Me: Wow, Like tat very unfair to mi leh. Hai~ Juz rem to find someone good if really anything happen to mi. I wan a straight break off if really anything happen to mi. Cause i dun wan to see u be sad and cry.
I almost cried out at tat time le... Cause i know i wun be able to bear for her to leave or leave her.... I'm very worried everyday tat time when my bleeding non stop... I worried till the day when i'm dignosed perfectly fine... Only then i really put down all my worry and i know i'm able to still carry on be with her and tats one of the most happiest and beautiful thing tat i have.....
This incident was ard 2+ yrs ago... Now, At this moment, The same thing came to mi again... Juz tat the difference is tat she's not by my side anymore... At one moment, i juz wished maybe i can juz go away like tat and end all these pain... At the other, I juz wished she's by my side and once again tell mi nothing will happen to mi and everything will be fine... All these are juz my fantasy and wishes... I dun expect much and dun expect anything... I even wish she wun know about it tats why i changed my blog address... I really dun wish to see her cry again... Dun wan her to cry cause she can't take it tat i keep pestering her, Dun wan her to cry cause she worry for mi, dun wan her to cry cause of anything... Juz cry cause she's so happy and xin fu... Tats wat i wanna see from now on...
I'm worry... I know my own body tat its not in very good shape... I smoke too much.. I had irregular meals, sometimes even skipping meal the whole day... I din sleep much, less than 5 hrs a day sometime even lesser..... Now this same incident come back again... I'm really afraid something might happened... Till then, I'll juz be strong and hold my tears... Cause i still haven finished everything i wanna do... One of it is.....
