Standing in the rain....
<3
Took back some photos today... The heart tat was in coma once again woke up... Photos are memories we wanted to keep forever... Its some happiness we wished to stay there forever... Was looking thru it and it really bring back lots and lots of memories.... I tried my very best to push everything deep down into the bottom of my heart... Keeping it there and surpressing it to do the best for both of us... But, Only today then i know this... The more u surpress the more destructive it'll bounce back...
It still raining outside now at 1 am... Its really cold... But nth compare to the whole body of mine standing in the rain for almost an hour... The rain drops soaked my whole body and of course my face... I wasn't able to differentiate whether was it my tears or was it the rain... Stand there in the rain was cold... But definately not as cold as my heart... The tears tat drop are nth too... I dun feel the emotions in my brain at all.... WAt i felt was the ache of my heart tat make my tears roll down my face non stop... The ache to see someone else standing beside and not mi.... Was it really juz my fantasy to even dream tat this love will last forever? Was it juz being seen by mi only? If not, why am i the only one holding on to it? Believing tat this fantasy of mine isn't juz a fantasy but also the future of us....
Love is but juz a game... A game tat u'll either win or lose... Some hold on strictly to the rules wanting to win with honor... Some bend the rules juz to win the game as to achive wat they wan even by stepping on the others.... But most of the time, those that bend the rules win... As long as they're not being found out... Those who stick to their own principle lose out as they juz wanna win the game with honor but holding on to this principle only brings pain and suffering... Chooosing to bend or stick to the rules are not the choice for mi... Both can't seems to make mi feel safe and better... So i can only choose the 3rd... Being a loser and quit the game... Quiting the game isn't as simple as it is... Others might think tat u juz can't affort to lose.. Nope... When u choose to quit, it dun juz mean tat u're giving up..... The heart wun stop definately... The memories wun go off definately... Wat i choose is to keep everything deep in there... Leave the game and maybe the joy of seeing others winning the game might be juz as good as winning it urself....
Though saying quitting is easy, but doing it is hard... The courage needed to make this decision is not less than any other way.... Its juz like standing in the rain... When the rain washed away ur tears, no one knows it drops... No one understand it, but urself... But wat i do know is tat, no matter how the cold wind blow, and not matter how drenched u're, its isn't cold at all..... The coldest is the heart of mine without you......
